Something Amazing

Life has been pretty crazy lately. I always have something that I NEED to do. Tonight that something was band practice. A necessity because we perform (for the second time!) on Tuesday and have only practiced this set of songs once. As I was trying to get the strum pattern down for God of this City I was looking around our totally awesome band room and thought about how "not me" this was. I  mean, playing in a band in front of people. We've already talked about how I don't do anything in front of people. I prefer to sit at my computer and write about the world while everyone else enjoys it.

I've been doing a lot of crazy things lately, such as training for a half-marathon, joining a band, allowing my room to get cluttered . . . you know, not normal. I just think that maybe the reason I'm doing all or these outside-of-the-box stuff is because I'm trying to do something significant before I graduate high school. I want to be remembered. I want everyone to see my name and be like "Oh yeah, her. She is totally awesome!"

But you know what? All of this trying to be "totally awesome" is totally wearing me out. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely l-o-v-e band, and I couldn't imagine not training, but like my room, it's kind of cluttering up my life. Trying to do everything myself can be too much. That's what prayer is for, right?

I hope she doesn't mind me sharing this. On our way home from band practice my friend and I were talking about our faith, about how God has worked in our lives since we've known each other. Freshman year, she and I were in volleyball together. As the story goes, she asked me why I never said "Oh my god." When I told her it was because I thought it was wrong to take the Lord's name in vain, she continued to ask me why I didn't say "oh my gosh." Apparently I replied that my father simply wouldn't allow it. I don't remember having this conversation, but my friend shared with me that was the reason she stopped saying those phrases. This was before she became a Christian.

In that moment I realized it's not important to be remembered. It's important that God is remembered. We don't have to be something amazing because God is something amazing. Totally awesome, amazing God, and I thank Him that I don't have to be amazing on my own.