Under Attack

It's time for a little bit of honestly. There's a reason I haven't posted for a while. Senior year has begun, and I'm ready for it to be totally awesome. So far nothing exciting has happened. Last year I felt like I really sort of discovered who I am. That may sound totally cliche, but I really got involved in the things that I'm most passionate about. I had found a totally great relationship with God, and I was able to share Him with the people around me. I also did a lot of research on "body hate," and realized that we have a choice in the way we preceive ourselves. And I got into running. Which was totally awesome, and I had the best time of my life crossing those finish lines.

And then the finish lines were behind me, AP Lang blogging was over, I had let my relationship with God fall apart, and I just felt a little stranded. I'm not sure how else to explain it. Even though nothing major happened, my perspective shifted and everything I new to be concrete shifted with it.

This song has been playing on the radio a lot lately. I haven't got it all figured out yet, and I never will, but this song always reminds me that God will always love us. No matter what we do, no matter who we were before or who we are now, we can always come back to Him.

"For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, now things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

I'm still having a hard time at it. I don't know why God feels so far away right now. But I know that He still loves me. And He loves you too! We just have to trust Him. He's not promising that everything is going to turn out all right, but He is promising to always be there for us.

Good Ol' Iowa State Fair

Let me begin by saying this: I am in no way, nor will I ever be a country girl. The Fair is a new world to my city-bred eyes. I had no idea cows were so big! And I made sure to cover my nose and mouth when we passed the pigs - you know, swine flu outbreaks and all. But really, I had a great time at the Fair. Apparently I've been there before? I can't remember anything but a giant pig that I was sure would swallow me whole had he the chance.

When you go to the Iowa State Fair, three fourths the experience is in the food. For real. Throwing caution to the wind, I leapt upon the chance to try greasy, deep fried dishes that are sure to stop your heart. If you ever get the chance to try fried macaroni and cheese go for it! No hesitation. Best decision I have ever made. Seriously good. That, and a German Chocolate funnel cake consisted of my dinner. I don't normally like funnel cakes, but my friend and I inhaled the entire thing in five minutes flat. Because if you're going to put cake in a funnel you might as well make it German Chocolate.

Now let me get to the real reason why, of all people, I ended up at the Fair. Concert. Yep. My first official, tickets-with-seating-on-them concert. And yes, it was Toby Mac. For those of you who live in a hole, Toby Mac is a Christian rapper artist who is totally awesome.

The other two bands that played were Jamie Grace, who is a fairly new artist, and Tenth Avenue North. You may know Jamie Grace's song Hold Me: 

She's pretty awesome too. When she was up on stage she was talking about getting some bad feedback for having love songs on her CD. Her response? Why shouldn't a twenty one year old, Christian girl write love songs? Why do they have to be about anyone other than God, who will always remain her first love? So awesome!

And then Tenth Avenue North took the stage and I went berserk. I love them so much! Their stories that they told while on stage stuck out to me the most. The lead singer talked about how you can't define yourself by your accomplishments. They weren't their songs or their talents, but God's People. Jesus' Children who He died for. Secular performers worship themselves while on stage. These guys - they were totally and completely giving their all for God. 

Sitting in the middle of the fairgrounds I was able to find God. In the midst of all the chaos of the world, I was able to worship God. It was so amazing. The whole time I was sitting there so thankful to have the opportunity to believe in the God who created me. We have the freedom to worship, and that is truly awesome. 

Beautiful Things

When I was around six years old, I asked my mother about sin. I wanted to make sure I was going to make it to heaven. Not to meantion, I was feeling a little guilty that day for making my sister cry. I had asked God over and over again, "Please forgive my sin" afraid that he couldn't hear me or that I was being insincere. When my mother told me that we had to ask God to forgive our specific sin I quickly got to work, sitting on the back porch stairs, naming off every misdemeanour I could remember, always worried that I had forgotten something.

We all worry about sin. For those of you who don't believe in God, why do you feel guilty when you do something wrong? A lot of the time when I invite a friend to church the immediate response is that God will strike them with lightening for stepping into His House because they know they aren't right with God. You were created with a desire to know Christ. Whether you want to or not, you feel guilty for your sins. That's called the Holy Spirit, people. Like our God-given conscious. It's a thing.

You can't get right with God until you believe He can forgive you of your sins. Until you mean all the "I'm sorry's" and the "I won't do it again's," He's waiting to forgive you. He's waiting for you to love Him. Because trust me, He already loves you.

John 10:10 says, "I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly."

Jesus died to give you life. Eternal life. "For all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God" (Romans 3:23) but God sent His Son, Jesus, to die on a cross, one of the most gruesome and humble deaths; He took your sins, before you were created, and took them upon Himself, so that you may be forgiven.

If you ask.

Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

The other day I was sitting in service listening to a missionary speak. He lives in Haiti with his family. He talked about how Haitians are pained at being known as one of the poorest countries in the world. Mass graves, now overgrown with wild grass, hold the bodies of the victims of the earthquake. Entire villages are living out of tents around the rubble. Yet, out of all the destruction and hurt, brokenness creates healing and beauty.

Brokenness creates healing and beauty. I love that.

Jesus wants you to come to Him just as you are. Brokenness and all. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9).

Accept.
Believe.
Confess.

Revelations 3:20 says, "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in."

You have to make the choice. Jesus is waiting. And He loves you.

Disconnect.

First order of business, happy August everyone!

Second, I am happy to assure you that I did not fall off the face of the earth. As silly as it may seem, I've been kind of off in my own little world. I have been entirely unmotivated to do anything, and in doing so have wasted some of the precious weeks left of summer. No more! This is me, motivation and all, writing to you about my life. Aren't you lucky?

You may remember my babbling last year about my infamous Camp Table Rock? Back to the archives we go. Let me remind you: Fun in the Son: Year Four, Back to Missouri, Knowing Your Faith, Proving the Truth, Seeing the Face of God, Go Light The World. Because camp has a certain repetitive aspect to it, I won't bore you with the exciting details of my adventure this year. But I will say this, my fifth year as a camper at Fun in the Son has been just as great as the last four. The seminars this year were over Evangelism. This is the second year I have heard this seminar, but I learned as much this year as I did the previous.

At the beginning of the week we filled out a witnessing questionnaire. The gist of it is this: we were all created with a desire to know about Christ, God will not be disappointed if we give our all in presenting the Gospel, we are successful witnesses even when the other person does not accept Christ, people do care what God has done in your life, and it is our responsibility to share God with those around us and make sure that those lead to Christ are discipled in their walk with God.

One of the verses that really stuck out to me this year is Acts 26:17-18, which says, "I am sending you to them to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in Me." Last year I really got into the evangelism kick, especially when it came to my classmates; however, now that I look back I'm not sure I was doing it for the right reasons. It is our responsibility as Christians to share God's Word with those around us, despite the consequences. James 1:22 says, "Do not merely listen to the Word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." The Bible says to share God's love and message with is people. James 4:17, "Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins." You know what you have to do. Go change the world for Christ.

Blue Sky.

With the end of the school year wrapping up, I've been faced with a lot of "growing up." Maybe it isn't personally MY growing up, but it's somebody's, and I just wish I could tell them everything they should or shouldn't do. Of course, I don't know what that is myself.

It's once again that time of the year for my private school eighth graders to graduate. Being an alumni, I cry whenever another class passes through the doors of public school. I don't know why. There is absolutely no reason for this, until this year. My little sister has officially graduated the eight grade. CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU AND YOURS! Now go back to the easy, care-free days of kindergarten.

All of my "public school friends" say that graduating the eight grade isn't a big deal. That's true - if you went to a public middle school. Graduating from this private school is so much different! I can't explain it properly unless you've properly experienced it. It's a safe house. A place to learn and grow in your Christianity with friends and teachers who support and love you. We open the day in prayer, we have Bible studies, we sing songs of salvation and God's saving grace. School was my life, because that was where my friends were. Graduating from private school is a big deal.

My few weeks of public high school were weird. Not just because everything was new. I just always felt like I was waiting for something to happen. I didn't realize this until months later, but what I had been waiting for was a different start to the day, a simple prayer. But finding that in public school, it's easier to find a needle in a haystack!

It really wasn't until the last term of my freshman year that I really began connecting with people. I didn't find them at school, however, I found them in my youth group. They all went to my school and I didn't even notice them because I was so sucked into my own little pity party of "I don't have any friends."

I guess what I'm trying to say here is this: to you eighth graders, don't let life get you down. It's okay to be nervous for high school. Just don't be so nervous that you don't live your summer. Make friends, be open to meeting new people, but make good choices while you're at it. Don't befriend someone you know is just going to tear you down. Trust God. That's something I had to learn the hard way. Don't be afraid to pray at school. Be the light in the darkness. All those cliche's. Hold onto your innocence. I'm always available to talk if you need it. Have a wonderful summer! High school is going to open up a world of opportunity to you, don't waste it.

A New Chapter

Blogging for my advanced placement language and composition class is officially finished with. It's been long, it's been hard, and at times, I wish I could quit, but now that it's all said and done, I wouldn't change a moment of it. Everything that I've learned in the past several months will do nothing but help me. Now and in the future. I have learned more about the existence of God in my everyday life than I ever could if I hadn't dwelled on his goodness in my blog. I have also been able to grow and see inner beauty as beautiful, and in turn, find the beautiful qualities in myself and others. Like I said, I wouldn't change a minute of it for the world.

The big question now is will I continue to blog without the prompting of this class? The answer is a resounding yes! I've spent two days without worrying about mandatory blogs and the need to write is itching in my fingertips. Although I won't write as frequently, I hope to continue to dive into the topics that I have already been discussing here such as beauty, Christianity, and RUNNING. So don't stop reading, because there's a whole lot more coming!

Speaking of running, and with my post being entitled "A New Chapter," I have a little bit more to share with you. Ever since I ran my half-marathon a whole three days ago I can't wait for my next race! I haven't run again yet, my legs are still a little shaky, but I'll be running a 5K for breast cancer in June. I can't wait. Until then, I will be speed training. My average mile time for the half was 11:16 and I want to be able to run a solid ten minute mile before my next half. Yes, I said NEXT. What can I say? I'm addicted to the feeling of crossing that finish line.

Also, I'd like to remind you that "No Make-up Wednesdays" have thus far been a success. Although, the more time that passes since the week of no make-up, the less enthused I am about going make-up-less. It's a work in progress. But I see another week without make-up sometime in the near future, just to remind myself of who I am, painted or not.

Moving On

As the school year is coming to a close, I begin to realize how quickly things change. Many of my friends are seniors this year, going of to live their life. Partying it up at college (just kidding). I'm no different from the next person when I say I hate saying goodbye's. They rip me apart inside until I feel as if I can't feel anymore.

The reason I'm writing about goodbye's is because one of my senior friends is leaving particularly early. He's going to be a counselor at a youth camp, which is totally awesome, but I'm totally going to miss him. So as I was mourning the loss of a friend not yet gone I realized I was being selfish and stupid. Sure, yeah, some of the people I care about are going places. But they're going places! They're following where God is leading them. Here I am being all mournful and tearful at their departure when they're doing God's Will.

On my way home from youth group on Tuesday, as I was bitterly contemplating what it will be like without the seniors, this song came on the radio. "We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to turn it all around or to throw it all away. We gotta tell them that we love them while we got the change to say gotta live like we're dying." Maybe it's just me, but this song was totally speaking to me. I realized that I can't mourn someone who isn't gone. Salvage the time you have left to spend with those you love, even those you don't. We only have so much time to share God's Word with others. If that means he's calling you to move out of state, go for it.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future.'" He will take care of you. Trust Him.

  

As for me? I need to trust God to take care of my friends. They're going to do amazing things, wherever God leads them. Use your time wisely because "every second counts on the clock that's ticking. Gotta live like we're dying."

Something Amazing

Life has been pretty crazy lately. I always have something that I NEED to do. Tonight that something was band practice. A necessity because we perform (for the second time!) on Tuesday and have only practiced this set of songs once. As I was trying to get the strum pattern down for God of this City I was looking around our totally awesome band room and thought about how "not me" this was. I  mean, playing in a band in front of people. We've already talked about how I don't do anything in front of people. I prefer to sit at my computer and write about the world while everyone else enjoys it.

I've been doing a lot of crazy things lately, such as training for a half-marathon, joining a band, allowing my room to get cluttered . . . you know, not normal. I just think that maybe the reason I'm doing all or these outside-of-the-box stuff is because I'm trying to do something significant before I graduate high school. I want to be remembered. I want everyone to see my name and be like "Oh yeah, her. She is totally awesome!"

But you know what? All of this trying to be "totally awesome" is totally wearing me out. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely l-o-v-e band, and I couldn't imagine not training, but like my room, it's kind of cluttering up my life. Trying to do everything myself can be too much. That's what prayer is for, right?

I hope she doesn't mind me sharing this. On our way home from band practice my friend and I were talking about our faith, about how God has worked in our lives since we've known each other. Freshman year, she and I were in volleyball together. As the story goes, she asked me why I never said "Oh my god." When I told her it was because I thought it was wrong to take the Lord's name in vain, she continued to ask me why I didn't say "oh my gosh." Apparently I replied that my father simply wouldn't allow it. I don't remember having this conversation, but my friend shared with me that was the reason she stopped saying those phrases. This was before she became a Christian.

In that moment I realized it's not important to be remembered. It's important that God is remembered. We don't have to be something amazing because God is something amazing. Totally awesome, amazing God, and I thank Him that I don't have to be amazing on my own.

And It Continues

Last night I had a dream . . . I was looking in the mirror and applying make-up for the first time in weeks. When I looked at the finished reflection I realized that I didn't like the way my mascara looked. I began to scrub it off, but it wouldn't wash off and I began to cry because I realized that I liked myself better natural than "fake."

I believe that everything you dream about has a purpose. I dreamed about make-up because yesterday was the last day of my no make-up challenge. The Beautiful Face Project was a success. The beginning of the week was rough. Many times was asked why I wasn't wearing make-up. A few girls told me that I was brave because they wouldn't have the courage to go without make-up. That kind of made me sad, but even a week before I had thought the same thing.

It isn't really about courage. Natural is beautiful and it has been for thousands of years. We weren't born with the ability to apply make-up; it's something you learn. At the beginning of the week I had to remember to trust God. We are created in His image, and we are beautiful. If we believe the lies that we aren't pretty or good enough without make-up, the newest brand of clothing, etc. then we're telling God that He's wrong. That He isn't enough. Make-up-less, that's the way God created me and He sees me as beautiful. 

1 Samuel 16:7 says, "But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.'" (Note: God was talking about Samuel choosing a king to lead His people, but I think it works for everyday beauty too!)

I realize that a week isn't much time to really change your mind about something. At first, I was just doing this for my eighth grade girls. But as I began to see myself for who God sees me as, I saw that I didn't need the make-up to be beautiful. Beauty isn't about your outward appearance, it's about your personality. It's about how you treat your friends. It's about your relationship with God. 2 Corinthians 4:16 says, "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day." The most important part of beauty is your heart. If God is in control and is the Lord of our lives, we don't have to worry about being seen as "ugly." 

After three years of wearing make-up, I always feel pretty self conscience when I go without. When I'm in a hurry I usually make sure to at least put on mascara. Towards the end of the week, though, I realized that make-up doesn't make me someone else. I'm still me, with or without it. What everyone else thinks - that doesn't matter, because what matters is your opinion of yourself.

One of my expectations was that I would return to my old habits of applying make-up everyday. After my dream last night I realize this isn't true. I debated upon whether or not to wear make-up today but decided to wear make-up to bring a sort of "closure" to my week. From now on I'm going to have No Make-Up Wednesdays. I think it's good to have one day a week to "be yourself." I just don't want to forget that I am beautiful without it; make-up is not a necessity. 

If  you're reading this and thinking that you could NEVER go without make-up, I'd say you're someone who needs to do it the most. So that I wouldn't be tempted to apply any foundation or anything I woke up ten minutes later every day this week than I normally do. JUST DO IT! Don't think about it because then you'll change your mind. You are strong, and beautiful, and confident. Let The Beautiful Face Project continue. 

The Beautiful Face Project

I had the most amazing opportunity last night.

I was able to lead a Bible study for eighth grade girls on true beauty.

I don't think I could even begin to describe how nervous I was. I've had sort of a "falling out" with my inner beauty topic, and when I was asked to do this I wasn't sure how it would go. I did a lot of praying and a lot of looking for Bible verses to go along with my topic. I wrote down every little word I was going to say in order to remember all of my points. You might not have noticed, but I am a TON better at writing than I am at public speaking.

This girls were so cool! (YOLO) I've worked with them before in a junior leadership program and I was so amazed at the depth of their faith in God. I was definitely not that confident when I was fourteen. They have such a love for God and for others. I know they're going to be such a light when they go into high school in the fall.

I began with the verse Proverbs 31:30, which says, "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." I wanted to get across that before anything we must have a heart for God in order that our "inner self is being renewed day by day" (2 Corinthians 4:16). I shared with them the Beauty Redefined catch phrases: "You are capable of much more than being looked at." "There is more to be than eye candy." "If beauty hurts, we're doing it wrong." and "Your reflection does not define your worth."

And then I brought up the term "fat talk." Fat talk is defined as an expected behavior for women to participate in to "earn" compliments, express emotions, seek social reassurance, and excuse eating behaviors (Boyle, Operation Beautiful).

I wasn't sure how they would react to that. I know some people just accept it as normal to fat talk, but these girls were so willing to listen. 1 Samuel 16:7 says, "For God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

We had great discussions about how society wants us to believe that we aren't beautiful. This is a lie. It not only challenges the Bible, but it makes us question God's Will in our lives. I challenged them to all go a day with out make-up, stop fat talk and hold each other accountable when they do fat talk, and believe that they are beautiful, no matter what.

I wasn't expecting such awesome feedback when they quickly decided that they were going to go a WHOLE ENTIRE WEEK WITHOUT MAKE-UP!!  Beginning on Sunday. I myself have been talking about going without make-up since I began this thing and I haven't had enough courage to do it. So I promised them that I would do it with them. No make-up. Sunday through Saturday. The reason I'm writing about this? Is so that all of you know to hold me accountable. I cannot wait! I'm calling this:

The Beautiful Face Project

Won't you join me in an ENTIRE WEEK of natural beauty? 

Beauty isn't only our reflection in a mirror. It's the essence of who we are. If we decide that we're having a bad day based on our reflection, that isn't beautiful. Visa versa. When we fix our eyes on God's view of beauty, it's so much easier to find beauty within ourselves. 

Note: I kind of got my idea from these women. Aren't they amazing?

Running For Jesus

Hey ya'll! It's been a long time since I've written. Maybe you didn't miss me, but I sure did miss writing. These past two weeks have been pretty hectic. I mean, I THINK I had Spring Break somewhere in there, but it kind of got lost amongst the homework, working, and training.

Speaking of training, have any of you began something on a whim, and later realized that you didn't particularly enjoy pushing yourself to the extreme in that area? Yeah, I enjoy running. But only on a good day. Which hasn't been for a while. To catch you up: Three weeks ago, I ran my first nine miles. Which was amazing. The week after, I ran ten miles. That ended up being just as amazing as nine. It's those midweek runs that kill me. You know, the "shorter," recovery runs that you go out thinking you're going to conquer the world and you come back with sweat pouring down your face along with a tear or two. Either that or you go out dreading a run and come back with endorphins pumping into your blood stream and you feel as if you could do ten things at once. That happens a lot too.

Take Saturday, for instance.

Since I'm taking the ACT next weekend, I wasn't able to run at my regular Saturday run time (eight o'clock). Instead, I took three hours out of my morning to do horrible math equations that I haven't learned yet while I listened to a teacher "dumb-down" the problems in order that we absorb everything we needed to. Back to running. After my ACT prep, my family went out to lunch. I ordered pasta. Before a run. Maybe not the smartest decision on my part. I've been having a lot of ankle pain lately, so we went to an athletics store to look at new tennis shoes for moi. I was hesitant at first because of the price, but I knew that if I was going to finish this thing I needed to not injure myself. So I bought the shoes. Which, I thought, would encourage me to run that afternoon. Until it began raining.

For those of you who have run in the rain, it really is awesome. But it's the getting started that's hard. I have a really hard time motivating myself and all I wanted on Saturday was sunshine and warmth to accompany me. But I forced myself out onto the trail anyway. In my beautiful new running shoes that were getting soaked with mist. I knew that if I was going to keep my mind occupied I needed something to do - other than run, of course. So I began singing songs. But that makes you breathless pretty quickly. Imagine: some crazy blonde, singing to herself at the top of her lungs, running like a maniac in the rain. Funny picture? Pretty much.

Running gives you a lot of time to think. I know a few runners who like to talk to God while they run. Honestly, I've had a pretty hard time connecting with the God-man lately and I knew that if I tried to pray in my head I would get sooo distracted. So I just began talking to him like I would if one of my friends had been running beside me. I recently have had a hard time knowing what to pray for. So as I was talking to Jesus, I just began thanking him for everything. My new running shoes. The rain. The fact that a teacher is willing to sit down with students and help them study for the ACT. My ability to run ten miles. Then I began praying for the people in my life; the ones who encourage me, and those who need the Lord. And I prayed for myself. For my decisions and that I will have integrity to know what He wants me to do. During this time I realized, not only that I've been negligent in my walk with God, but I'm running for the wrong reason, for myself, when who I needed to be running for was God.

Before I knew it, my run was over, but God's presence was with me. And He can "run" with you too if you ask Him.

I'm in a band!

Yep, you read that right. Who would have ever thought that I, Gracie Elizabeth, would ever be in a band, let alone, perform in front of people! Gasp! And this is how it came to be:

A couple weeks after Christmas, one of my friends bought a drumset. We all thought she was crazy to waste her money. (She can't even keep a beat while clapping. I love you, Ayla!) Once she had her drumset, her automatic reaction was to, you guessed it, start a band. She asked me to play guitar. (My guitar is blue, by the way. Don't be jealous!) So it was me and Ayla. Naturally, we had no idea how we were going to pull this off. So we asked one of our friends, a show choir kid, to help us out. She is really amazing. And I'm not just saying that because I know she's reading this. Not only does she sing, but she also plays piano, guitar, base, she learned how to play the ukilele, and she was able to write music for a violin. Did I meantion we also have a violinist? Now what else do we need? Oh right, a pianist. Duh!

There we were. The five of us struggling to play Taylor Swift together. The first song we played was "You Belong With Me" The first time we played it through and stayed on beat the whole time, we just stared at each other in awe. As in, "That's right, guys. We just did that. How cool are we?"

After playing Taylor Swift for two months, you kind of want to shoot yourself. Sorry, Taylor, I still love you! But seriously, it was time for something new. So we migrated to Christian music, and along the way someone got the wacky idea to play in youth group. Ha. As if! But the idea stuck. We had exactly two weeks, and I don't even know how many hours we practiced. It was all we talked about.

This week was it. We were going to do it. We had everything all planned out: the songs we were going to sing/play, who was to do what, we even talked about who was going to pray when we were finished. We arrived at church two hours before youth group was supposed to start and played all the songs through twice.

If you know me at all, then you know I'm not one to stand up in front of a group of people. This took guts for all of us. Something that made it easier was the thought that, since we were in youth group, our peers should be worshipping God and not looking at us. But I was still nervous that I was going to mess up, naturally.

Playing in a worship band is something I think every musician should experience, because it's not for you! It's for God. As Philippians 2:9-11 says, "Therefore, God has highly exalted Jesus and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus, every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." This is what I realized after performing. And I can't wait to do it again.

Making Mistakes

I recently made an "oops," let's call it a "big oops." I have asked forgiveness and been forgiven, so for me (and hopefully for the other person) this is in the past. What I did can't be undone, and I do regret it, but it's over now; insults and back-stabbing aren't going to change anything.

It's hard for me to ask forgiveness. Why is it always hard for us humans to say the what-should-be simple words "I'm sorry?" As Christians, the world sees us as people who need to be perfect. Maybe there's a reason for that. After all, we're called to follow Christ's example, who was perfect. But in the grand scheme of things, we're still humans. And obviously, imperfect. Guess what, guys? I make mistakes too!

In Brant's Blog, he writes about a famous guy who recently made a mistake. I don't understand all the details, and it's not necessary to, but because this guy was famous, the whole world is now able to ridicule him, call him names. Guess what, guys? Just because he's famous, doesn't mean he doesn't make mistakes too!

Brant was talking about how the guy now has his entire burden laid before the world. He wrote, "Your breakdown, your fallenness, your foolishness, your weakness, made national news. Ours hasn't, yet. But everyone knows you are no Superman. Everyone knows you are a man who cannot 'hold it all together.' Everyone knows you are not to be placed on a pedestal. Everyone knows you are a man who cannot be trusted to save the world. Everyone knows you've got 'issues.'"

You know what, Brant? I've got issues too. And you're right, it's kind of a relief to let everyone know you're not perfect, even if it undermines your credibility. 1 Corinthians 4:5 says, "Therefore, judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring light to what is hidden in darkness, and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time, each will receive his praise from God."

It isn't our place to judge. I have a hard time remembering this one. So thanks for keeping me accountable!

The thing that most stuck with me from Brant's post was this: "God knows our darkest motives, our worst moments, our private shame, and is yet willing to say, 'Well done, my good and faithful servant,' because of what Jesus has done for us. I simply can't imagine having everything brought into the light, and then hearing 'Well done . . . '"

God forgives. And thankfully, because of Jesus' saving grace, we can too. I'm sorry for what I've done, but I can't change the past. You, however, you can change the future.

The Perfect Christian

For the past two days, whenever I have turned on the radio in the afternoon, the DJ is always talking about what it means to be the "perfect Christian." He asks questions such as "should we be perfect?" and "If we're imperfect, what does that say to non-Christians?" and "But if we do pretend to be perfect, how does that affect the way non-Christians view us?"

Well, I've been thinking about this a lot lately. If I mess up, does that just prove to those who don't believe that we aren't really changed when we accept Christ into our life? Or does that just make it easier for them to understand that our God really is a forgiving and loving Savior?

Honestly, I don't know. I'm trying to find scripture references that say something to the extent that our imperfections make our relationship with God all that more real, but this is what I found:

Matthew 5:43-48 says, "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

Those were Jesus' words. Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect. So now I'm really confused. I think that if we try to be perfect, we'll end up thinking that we're perfect, which we're not. We are made perfect through the blood of Jesus Christ. We can't be perfect on our own. And that's why Jesus said "as your heavenly Father is perfect." But there is no way we can live up to that standard.

If we live imperfectly and admit to our flaws, are we telling unbelievers that our God is weak? Or are we saying that he's strong enough to save even those who are imperfect?

What do you think? Thoughts? Opinions? Or do you just have more questions, because I know I do?

One Day Too Late

I can't believe I'm nearing the end of my junior year of high school. It seems like just yesterday that I walked through the doors and into the life of a high school student. As much as things have changed since that day, what hasen't changed is my faith. If anything, it's gotten stronger as I've struggled to share my relationship with Christ with my peers. The other day I was listening to the radio and the song One Day Too Late came on. I was mindlessly singing along when these lyrics hit me:

"Today, I'm gonna love my enemies, reach out to somebody who needs me, make a change, make the world a better place 'cause tomorrow could be one day too late."

Those words just stopped me where I was. I have a little over a year left in high school. There are so many people still searching for God and for hope. What am I doing to help them? As Christians, we have an opportunity to share God with those around us and we can't waste it. These lyrics, this song, is my new mission statement. Because I only have a year left of high school I have to live it out loud.

Lately I've been feeling like there's so much more I can do to show Christ to others. Be more respectful of . . . everyone, perhaps. Or always smile even when I don't feel like being "joyful." But no matter what happens, I'm going to try to live more like Jesus every day and hopefully it will be noticeable. 

On sort of a side note: I am so thankful that I am able to go to a public school. That sounds wrong, but it's true! Private school is great, but the opportunities I have in a public high school are so much more vast than those I'd have if I had gone to a private high school. Not to mention how much my faith has grown. I was able to discover God outside of a "Bible class" and understand the little ways he works miracles in the lives of others. I'm thankful for my private school education, I wouldn't trade it for the world, but I also would never trade my public high school experience. 

If you're a Christian in a public high school share you're faith. Forget about what people might call you, it's only four years of your life. Four years that you can live for God. Don't live it in regret. 

Not So Popular

The other day I was confronted by the idea that my social status was driven by the want of popularity.

What? No way. Me? I don't care what anyone thinks. Whatsoever. Nope. Idon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcare!


And then, of course, the not so pleasant thought that I do care about what other people think crossed my mind. But everyone's has to care a little, right?

I remember in middle school . . . I felt so self conscience then. But I don't remember caring what other people thought of me. Because they were my friends. Because they would love me no matter what. Not to sound cynical, but how could I be so naive? I would always laugh off the crude comments as jokes or see them as the jokesters own insecurities showing through.

Since I had gone to small private schools from pre-school until eighth grade, I was super nervous to enter a public high school with almost two thousand kids. I created scenarios in my head of how popular I was going to be and how everyone was going to know who I was and love me and I would know everyone's name. HA! I think I forgot to calculate how many two thousand students actually is. Again, my own naivety. Going into high school I also forgot about this verse:

Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will able to test and approve what God's Will is -- His good, pleasing, and perfect will."

You see, my own ideas of popularity got in the way of the friendships I could have made freshman year, not to mention my own relationship with God.

So as I was contemplating my need for popularity, I came across this song by Britt Nicole:

In the (almost) three years I've been in public school, I have just begun to realize the impact my faith in God could have on my peers. I so wish I could have realized sooner that God is more important than popularity. Besides, will I know these people in ten years? Probably not. But I hope that years from now they will still be impacted by me; not because of my own popularity, but because of my Christianity.

"So when you get the chance to change, are you gonna take it? There's a really big world at your fingertips and you know you have got the chance to change it."

By Your Side

Locker Drama

Those of you who know me well know that me and my friends like to have a good time at school - in between classes, of course. It seems that someone is always planning on meeting somewhere or going out to lunch on half-days or going to ice cream after school. It's good to be around people who share the same beliefs as you and we are all open to talking about our struggles and what helps us when we're feeling "down and out." I feel so blessed to have this friend-based support, as I realize that not everyone has a great group of friends like I do.

So first, I would like to say thank you for your love and acceptance.

But enough of the sappy "I love you." Moving on . . .

A couple of months ago, one of my friends hung up a Bible verse in his locker. We all hang around there before school and so he thought it would be a good idea if we all memorized it. The next thing I know, he has the Bible verse hanging on the outside of his locker with some wimpy tape. "It will never stay up!" I remember saying. Our school isn't the most open to Christianity. In a way, this has strengthened my faith. Although it might not seem that apparent to those I'm stammering at, trying to explain why I don't believe in evolution. Anyway, I think the poster was up for about three class periods before it disappeared.

So we did what we had to do. The next day we brought out the heavy duty duct tape and the Sharpie and posted the verse on the locker once again. We didn't mean anything by it, really. All we wanted to do was memorize the verse ourselves and hanging it up on a locker seemed like a good solution, especially since I walk by there five times a day. Again, this verse was gone by forth hour.

This went on for a few days before we all began putting verses up on our lockers. It felt right. After all, Matthew 28:19 says, "Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." We, as Christians, are called to go into the world and share the Gospel to those who are lost. This is what we're doing. We're not trying to be snooty about it, we aren't going to plan revenge (Revenge of the Bible-verse-locker-thieves! Ha, that made me laugh), and if you're the one tearing our posters down, we're not going to confront you about it. Besides, the sooner the verses are torn down, the more verses we get to put up, the more Scripture is shared.

Philemon 1:6 says, "I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ." We are called to share God's Word with everyone and in doing so, we might understand it better.

I guess I'm telling this story to explain to those who think our Bible-verse-lockers are rude or un-thoughtful that we don't mean anything by it. It's a way for us to share our faith. I've been waiting and listening, but God hasn't told us not to do this. And so we'll continue and we'll pray that someone is being touched and is feeling God tugging at their heart.

1 John 5:4 says, "For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith."

Sincerely Saint Valentine

With all the hubub of Valentines Day, I decided to do a little research. You see, I realized that I don't actually know why Valentines Day exists. Sure, everyone has heard of Saint Valentine, but why is he important?

As I was researching the history of Valentines Day I came across two different stories. One takes place in Ancient Rome, when Emperor Claudius II outlawed young men from getting married in order to have a better army. A bishop in the Catholic Church named Valentine pitied those who couldn't marry or see their loved ones and so began to perform secret marriages. Of course, Valentine was discovered and the Emperor attempted to convert him from Christianity and into the worship of the Roman gods. Valentine, being the good old saint that he is, instead tried to convert Emperor Claudius to Christianity. Tragically, Valentine was sentenced to be executed.

The other story told about Valentine was that he was killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons. Jailed for his convictions, Valentine wrote love letters to a young girl, who possibly could be the jailers daughter. In one of his lasts letters he signed it "From your Valentine." As romantically, heroic as this tale is, we still don't know the truth behind Saint Valentine. In a way, I think the mystery of Valentines Day makes it more romantic, and perhaps more worthy of our attention.

Cupid, the little "baby-man" with the arrow, is also a significant figure on Valentines Day. Cupid was the son of Venus, the goddess of love from Roman mythology. The tale behind his arrow is that when it struck someone, he would fall in love.

In Ancient Rome, a celebration dedicated to fertility was observed from February 13 to the 15. Some believe that Valentines Day was chosen to be in the middle of February in an effort to "Christianize" the pagan festival. Other suggestions was that Valentines Day is on February 14th in an effort to commemorate the anniversary of Saint Valentine's death and burial.

Valentines Day wasn't seen as a romantic holiday until the fourteenth century, when Goeffrey Chaucer wrote a poem in honor of the first anniversary of the engagement of King richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia. The reason Chaucer wrote about Valentines Day in his poem was because the middle of February in England was the time for birds to be mating, signifying a time of love.

There are so many more stories that revolve around the mystery of Valentines Day. Valentines Day wasn't always a day for love, but this is what it has become. There are so many love stories out there; whether it's the love of a parent, the love of a child, or the love of a significant other, we all desire to be loved and accepted. My favorite love story is found in the Bible: God sent His Son down to earth, a humble baby, so that He could die for us and take away our sins. Because of God's love for us, we are able to spend eternity with Him in Heaven as long as we accept Him into our lives and let Him guide us. 

Don't have a Valentine this year? Let Jesus be your Valentine.

A More Beautiful You

There could never be a more beautiful you. God created you. Trust Him!