MakeUp Madness

I thought I would catch you up on my no makeup Wednesdays.  It's been about six weeks since The Beautiful Face Project, and I have gone makeup-less every Wednesday since. This is a fantastic accomplishment for me, except for one thing, I've noticed some negative fat talk coming through the radar on those days I go unencumbered by makeup. I hate to admit it to you, but the nasty, bad habit thoughts have returned like the plague.

In light of recent development, I think it's necessary to bring back The Beautiful Face Project every other month, once a week. Although I will keep going without makeup on Wednesdays, I think that a more forward approach will cause a "great awakening" (if you will) to what really matters (i.e. NOT makeup).

Plus, mascara is just so expensive!

With that being said, here are a few simple tips and sayings to get you through a day without makeup.

1. Imperfections are beautiful.
2. CoverGirls are simply that, they are created to be shown on the front of a magazine, effortlessly flawless. Photoshopped. You can't live up to the fake-ness a photo like that entails. Get over it.
3. Really, people don't pay as much attention to you as you might think. They're just worried about themselves. 
4. Keep your chin up. If you feel beautiful, you are beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
5. Don't stop smiling. A smile is your best feature.
6. Your reflection does not define your worth! Don't let that mirror interpret your emotions.
7. Think of all the time you spend on the days you don't wear makeup. Not only do you get to sleep in fifteen minutes, but you won't feel the need to duck into the women's bathroom to check yourself between every class. 
8. Everyone loves rain. No makeup? Good. Now you don't have to worry about mascara smudges when you're splashing in puddles. 
9. Beauty is made from confidence. Go change the world. 

Phrase for the day: "For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone." -Audrey Hepburn

To Be A Blogger

Bloggers are strange people. No one can say otherwise. To be a blogger you have to believe in yourself. But it takes more than that. You have to believe that others believe in you - and care enough to go to your page, frantically searching for your next post.

Ah yes, bloggers are the most egotistical and self-absorbed people you will never meet. In one of my favorite essays ever written by E.B. White, he wrote, "The essayist is a self-liberated (wo-)man, sustained by the childish belief that everything he thinks about, everything that happens to him, is of general interest." How much more true can he get? Besides, blogging is the modern form of essay writing. I take this quote to heart. I love E.B. White! "Only a person who is congenitally self-centered has the effrontery and the stamina to write essays." How wonderful! I will thoroughly embrace my self-centered-ness in an effort to keep your mind occupies, especially over the summer months.

Now if you don't mind, I must get back to my French homework. I have been procrastinating far too long.

"But when I am discouraged or downcast I need only fling open the door of my closet, and there, hidden behind everything else, hangs the mangle of Michel de Montaigne, smelling slightly of camphor."

Blue Sky.

With the end of the school year wrapping up, I've been faced with a lot of "growing up." Maybe it isn't personally MY growing up, but it's somebody's, and I just wish I could tell them everything they should or shouldn't do. Of course, I don't know what that is myself.

It's once again that time of the year for my private school eighth graders to graduate. Being an alumni, I cry whenever another class passes through the doors of public school. I don't know why. There is absolutely no reason for this, until this year. My little sister has officially graduated the eight grade. CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU AND YOURS! Now go back to the easy, care-free days of kindergarten.

All of my "public school friends" say that graduating the eight grade isn't a big deal. That's true - if you went to a public middle school. Graduating from this private school is so much different! I can't explain it properly unless you've properly experienced it. It's a safe house. A place to learn and grow in your Christianity with friends and teachers who support and love you. We open the day in prayer, we have Bible studies, we sing songs of salvation and God's saving grace. School was my life, because that was where my friends were. Graduating from private school is a big deal.

My few weeks of public high school were weird. Not just because everything was new. I just always felt like I was waiting for something to happen. I didn't realize this until months later, but what I had been waiting for was a different start to the day, a simple prayer. But finding that in public school, it's easier to find a needle in a haystack!

It really wasn't until the last term of my freshman year that I really began connecting with people. I didn't find them at school, however, I found them in my youth group. They all went to my school and I didn't even notice them because I was so sucked into my own little pity party of "I don't have any friends."

I guess what I'm trying to say here is this: to you eighth graders, don't let life get you down. It's okay to be nervous for high school. Just don't be so nervous that you don't live your summer. Make friends, be open to meeting new people, but make good choices while you're at it. Don't befriend someone you know is just going to tear you down. Trust God. That's something I had to learn the hard way. Don't be afraid to pray at school. Be the light in the darkness. All those cliche's. Hold onto your innocence. I'm always available to talk if you need it. Have a wonderful summer! High school is going to open up a world of opportunity to you, don't waste it.

A New Chapter

Blogging for my advanced placement language and composition class is officially finished with. It's been long, it's been hard, and at times, I wish I could quit, but now that it's all said and done, I wouldn't change a moment of it. Everything that I've learned in the past several months will do nothing but help me. Now and in the future. I have learned more about the existence of God in my everyday life than I ever could if I hadn't dwelled on his goodness in my blog. I have also been able to grow and see inner beauty as beautiful, and in turn, find the beautiful qualities in myself and others. Like I said, I wouldn't change a minute of it for the world.

The big question now is will I continue to blog without the prompting of this class? The answer is a resounding yes! I've spent two days without worrying about mandatory blogs and the need to write is itching in my fingertips. Although I won't write as frequently, I hope to continue to dive into the topics that I have already been discussing here such as beauty, Christianity, and RUNNING. So don't stop reading, because there's a whole lot more coming!

Speaking of running, and with my post being entitled "A New Chapter," I have a little bit more to share with you. Ever since I ran my half-marathon a whole three days ago I can't wait for my next race! I haven't run again yet, my legs are still a little shaky, but I'll be running a 5K for breast cancer in June. I can't wait. Until then, I will be speed training. My average mile time for the half was 11:16 and I want to be able to run a solid ten minute mile before my next half. Yes, I said NEXT. What can I say? I'm addicted to the feeling of crossing that finish line.

Also, I'd like to remind you that "No Make-up Wednesdays" have thus far been a success. Although, the more time that passes since the week of no make-up, the less enthused I am about going make-up-less. It's a work in progress. But I see another week without make-up sometime in the near future, just to remind myself of who I am, painted or not.

Live and Learn

Now that I've experienced the full effects of a half-marathon, I am taking some time to reflect on everything I did or didn't do to prepare for the big run!

I did not know what I was getting myself into. AT ALL. I had no idea of the time commitment it would take. So running was put first. After God and church and family (?) of course. But I have had no social life since I began training, so it's a good thing that summer is almost here.

I took one look at the training program and just started running. I didn't know what I was doing, didn't have the proper shoes or socks, and thought I was strong enough to do it by myself. Because of the shoe issue, I ended up with ankle pain about two months ago, which really freaked me out. I went to Running Wild, and they fit me with the perfect shoes. Voila! Pain no more. (Except a few blisters, ouch.)

Also, I got really lucky. A few of the women who help with the eighth grade running program at my middle school offered to run with me. It really helped to have them run the long distances with me and coach me through them. Plus, they have ultra cool running watches. No need to question my distance!

In the beginning, I didn't think about tracking my time or mile pace. I really wish I would have! I think if I were to start from scratch and do it again I would choose more of a run/walk program to build speed and endurance.

Just thoughts for next time. For my first half, I'm pretty proud of myself. And if you ever feel crazy enough to do a half-marathon, GO FOR IT! It will be the best, worst, most painful, exciting, exhilarating experience of your life.

Half-Marathon!

Yep. It's official. I have finally ran 13.1 miles. My time? 2:27:36 at an 11:16 pace.

I woke up this morning at 4:45, so nervous that I didn't even feel the need to hit the snooze button. My "running breakfast" always consists of yogurt (Noosa) and a banana. Try as I might, I had absolutely no appetite. So I force fed myself while I sipped a glass of water.

We arrived downtown at about a quarter after six. I stretched, and we waited in the car for fifteen minutes (it was a little chilly). I was so nervous I thought I was going to cry. My dad prayed for me and we went to the starting line. This race was really nice because it had signs for mile times to let you know where to stand in the pack. I was nearer the back. Five minutes later everyone began moving forward. Here we go!

The first mile was weird. About 0.2 into it there was an extremely narrow bridge that we had to cross. Everyone literally stood there for about three minutes, waiting for their chance to cross. I was getting antsy waiting for the crowd to thin out. The first four miles was a piece of cake. But mile five, that was a long stretch. It just seemed so ominous. So I made a friend, and before I knew it, I could see mile six. There was a water station every two miles, which I always stopped and walked at. At mile six, I ate a GU packet, Lemon Sublime, my favorite, but it kind of made my stomach upset. Too much water, I think. It went away about a mile later.

It was a pretty uneventful race. Which is good, in my opinion. I stopped again at mile ten to eat another GU (chocolate outrage - it tastes like brownie batter!), and kept on towards the finish line. With three miles left, I was totally pumped up. There were people on every block cheering us on. It was kind of awesome. The last two miles were hard. There were a lot more hills than I expected, not very steep, just l-o-n-g, and I walked up a lot of them. When I was told three blocks until the finish line, I broke out into a spring. It felt incredible, except for the feeling like I was going to throw up. (No worries, I kept everything down).

I passed the finish line with a smile on my face and 13.1 miles stronger. Yes, I got a finishers medal. I always wondered why medals were such a big deal, now I know why!

I drank a ton of water and ate half a banana directly after the race. We waited around for a little bit before coming home. I feel like it was kind of anticlimactic. Whatever, I finished and I am so proud of myself!

Now if you would excuse me, I'm going to take a nap.

Run Strong

I officially have less than twenty four hours until my race. And you know what? I'm kind of totally freaking out about it. The past week, I've run a total of eight miles. Normally, I run around 25 to 30. I know, I know. Trust my training. I've told myself that time and time again. I'm sure every runner feels totally unprepared the day before a race. Right?

Last night was my last official day of training. I ran a mile and a half. I've had my running log duct taped to my door for about five months now, and last night I finally took it down. Bittersweet moment. It'll be nice to be able to run whatever, whenever I want to after the race. I'm going to have so much free time I won't know what to do with myself!

Throughout the week I've totally been obsessing about my eating habits. What I can or should or absolutely must not eat. I told myself no desert, but come on, I love sugar. Not possible. But I figure if I ruined that throughout the week I can at least get it right tonight. I ate spaghetti, a lot of it. But I promise, I didn't overeat. I drank a Gatorade yesterday and today and have drank a lot of water tonight. Again, not too much that I feel like I'm going to puke water all over the place.

What am I worried about? I'm worried that I'll wake up with an upset stomach. That's what happened last weekend before the 10K, and I hardly ate anything. This goes without saying that I was really hungry during the race. I'm also nervous that I'll get lost. Don't laugh, it's possible. I'm directionally challenged. But I'm trusting that their will be enough police officers and others to guide me. It's supposed to be warm tomorrow, close to ninety. This is something I absolutely cannot let myself think about. It's out of my control. Besides, the weather shouldn't be that warm between seven and ten in the morning.

Tonight, we drove down to pick up my number and race-timer-thingy (I just forgot what it's called!). My number is 445. This all feels so unreal. It's not really me doing it, you know? I feel like I'm living someone else's live for just a few moments. I mean seriously, me, running a half marathon. Yeah right. But I am going to do it and it is going to be awesome.

At this point, I just want to get started. I feel like I can't wait another moment. I'm waking up at five tomorrow morning to hydrate and fuel myself and I know that those two hours before my race are going to be excruciating!

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start." -John J. Bingham

Let's do this thing!

10K

This weekend I ran my second race EVER. The first time I ran this race was when I was in eighth grade. Six miles seemed like a lot before I began training for a half-marathon, now it's just a part of my training. I know I'm supposed to be tapering this week, but this was such a great opportunity for me to get a "practice race" in before my big run. Besides, this wasn't about me, this one was about my sister, Anna. She and my mother have been training for this race since I started training for mine. I wanted to see them finish.

This race was a community race to raise money for the school districts. It was the fifth annual race, so it's pretty small, at least for a serious runner. I thought there were a ton of people there! I was going to take it easy, but then I realized that I could place in my age division and I couldn't risk not trying. After all, we all know that next weekend's race will be more about me finishing than anything else. 

I had hoped to get in six miles in under an hour. I'm beginning to think that I'm just setting myself up for failure when I time myself. I blame it on the humongous hills along the route, some of which I had to walk up. My time was 1:06:39 with an average pace of 10:43. 

My sister came in second in her age division, which is awesome! She does this with her middle school and the girls always take first, second, and third in their age group. She had a time around 1:13 along with my mother. 

To brag on myself a little, I got first in the women's 15 to 19 category. This race wasn't about me finishing. Like I said before, I run six miles on an average basis with my training. This race, for me, was about knowing that I can do my half-marathon and experiencing the hyper-activity of a race before I get caught up in it next weekend.

Am I nervous for next weekend? Unimaginably so. Nerves put me in a bad mood. Always. So I'm going to have to fight that this week along with my anxiety. It's horrible for me to want it to be over. This is going to be an awesome experience! 

For training this week my program has me running three miles both Monday and Tuesday and one mile on Friday. I was told to cut down my running even more than that so I'm not sure what I'll actually be doing. I will be staying away from any food that is spicy - can't eat that before a run! And I'm going to try, TRY to stay away from anything too sweet. I want to be in the best shape possible for next week. "Trust your training." I don't know how many times I've heard that. What I really want to do right now is go out and run twelve miles. Not really, though. That sounds exhausting. 

Pray for me! I know I'll be saying this verse hundreds of times during the race. Isaiah 40:31 says, "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."  

Moving On

As the school year is coming to a close, I begin to realize how quickly things change. Many of my friends are seniors this year, going of to live their life. Partying it up at college (just kidding). I'm no different from the next person when I say I hate saying goodbye's. They rip me apart inside until I feel as if I can't feel anymore.

The reason I'm writing about goodbye's is because one of my senior friends is leaving particularly early. He's going to be a counselor at a youth camp, which is totally awesome, but I'm totally going to miss him. So as I was mourning the loss of a friend not yet gone I realized I was being selfish and stupid. Sure, yeah, some of the people I care about are going places. But they're going places! They're following where God is leading them. Here I am being all mournful and tearful at their departure when they're doing God's Will.

On my way home from youth group on Tuesday, as I was bitterly contemplating what it will be like without the seniors, this song came on the radio. "We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to turn it all around or to throw it all away. We gotta tell them that we love them while we got the change to say gotta live like we're dying." Maybe it's just me, but this song was totally speaking to me. I realized that I can't mourn someone who isn't gone. Salvage the time you have left to spend with those you love, even those you don't. We only have so much time to share God's Word with others. If that means he's calling you to move out of state, go for it.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future.'" He will take care of you. Trust Him.

  

As for me? I need to trust God to take care of my friends. They're going to do amazing things, wherever God leads them. Use your time wisely because "every second counts on the clock that's ticking. Gotta live like we're dying."

The Dreaded Swimsuit

It's almost summertime. Ladies, you know what that means. Yes, it's time to dig deep into your closet and pull out your swimsuit. As you do this I'm sure you'll be crossing your fingers that it still fits . . . or that you can even find it!

Middle school was around the time I began to feel self-conscience in a bathing suit. I'm sure this is true of everyone. My first swimsuit dressing room horror story was in eighth grade. It was a week before my class trip my mother and I were shopping for swimsuits. I was so excited, until I realized that NOTHING LOOKED RIGHT! I'm sure I tried on a hundred suits (and just as many tears) until I finally decided to "throw in the towel" and chose the next one on the sales rack.

Swimsuits are a pain. I just don't even know where to begin. For me, the most important part of a swimsuit is that it's appropriate. That's kind of a difficult task, obviously. Nothing in swimwear will ever be modest. The next thing is I have to feel comfortable in it. I will never wear a bikini. That's a personal choice.

I guess the inspiration of this post was that I just bought a new swimsuit. I went shopping with the intention of buying a new pair of running shorts and ended up in the swimwear section of the store. I'm normally hesitant to shop for a new swimsuit, but I saw a cute one and just had to try it on. To my surprise, I didn't hate it. Which is better than most of the swimsuits I buy. Why waste a good thing?

What I'm trying to say is don't worry too much about what you look like on the beach, or in my case, on our nasty lake sand. Everyone is way more worried about how they look than how you look. Have fun, enjoy yourself, stay modest if at all possible. Remember, if you feel good, you look good.

Taper Time

I did it! I am in the last two weeks of my training program. It is so crazy how fast this has gone. I mean, it felt like it was never going to end when I started, but now that it's almost over I realize how fast time has flown by. Isn't that how it always is?

I ran my last ten miles yesterday. Because I had to work, I wasn't able to run in the morning like I prefer. It was really hard to get my butt in gear after working. I took a two hour "break from life" and headed out as the day started to cool off. My mother is a saint and rode her bike with me the entire ten miles. She said it's nice because it takes a lot of control to ride that slowely. Plus, mother-daughter talk time is the best! It was a really great run. Halfway through I had some strawberry bananna GU, which I think tastes amazing. Honestly, I really like that stuff. GU is an energy gel (kind of like condensed Gatorade) that replaces your glycogen, which is kind of like a long-term energy storage and is made by the liver and muscles. By the last mile of my run, my knees really began to hurt. I know that this is a side effect of running. You can't really avoid it, so I just iced my knees when I got home. Now I'm hoping for the best!

Since Saturday was my last long run, it's taper time! In order to rest up your muscles before a race, athletes take a period of time to slow down before race day. And yes, I consider myself and athlete. You have no right to challenge me until you have run a half-marathon or greater. Anyway, for a half-marathon, the recommended taper is two weeks. I will, however, be running a 10k next weekend (six miles). My mother and sister have been training for this for twelve weeks and I decided to run it with them. I wanted to get a "practice race" in before my half-marathon.

A lot of runners have a hard time with tapering. Probably because they get the feeling that they are going to gain weight or lose muscle mass before the race. Of everything I've read, you won't lose anything you've worked for in two weeks. I will have no problem taking it easy for the next few days. It will be nice to run three miles instead of six, and six instead of ten.

Of course, as I get closer to race day I think of everything that I might have done wrong during my training. When starting I had no idea what I was doing. I just began running. As I look back, I realize that I should have paced myself. Every run I've been running at an easy speed for me. I should have done fast runs, slow runs, and some runs in between. But whatever. Another thing that drove me crazy at first was when I had to skip a run because I was busy. I soon learned that in order to be a happy racer I had to give myself some leaway. We can't all be hardcore trainers. For my first race, I'd say that I've had a very successful training.

It's probably crazy to think ahead to another race before I've finished this one. But now that I've gotten this far and realized that I can do it, I can't imagine not doing a full marathon. I'm not talking about in the next six months or anything, but in five years? Yes, I can see myself crossing the finish line of a marathon five years from now. In the meantime, I'll focus on my speed. I can't imagine running for six hours!

My race is in thirteen days. That is so crazy! I don't know what I'm going to do when my race is over. I feel like I've been putting all of my energy and time into training. As much as I have enjoyed having something to work towards, I can't imagine being a die heart racer. Living from race to race does not sound like something I would enjoy.

Wish me luck! And happy training.

An Art of Sorts

I consider myself an artist. Yes, writing is an art. After all, it is called Language ARTS for a reason. For the last term of school I decided to take a photography class, which is crazy for me because I'm not "artistic" in the way photography needs you to be. You know, the camera with film as old as your cassette player? I got lucky and my mother still had our old film camera. I didn't realize how much preparation it took to develop film. Taking pictures is alright, but developing them is so relaxing.

I don't particularly enjoy developing the film, however. But once you get to see the negatives, it's so exciting to print your own photographs. I was in the dark room by myself for a little while on Friday. It's so quiet and peaceful back there. To develop pictures there has to be a constant water flow. With the lights dim and the trickling water, it just takes the edge off your day. I absolutely love it! It is a shame that we have gone to digital. It's magical to see your photo appear on the photo paper. Film photography is where it's at!

"Beauty can be seen in all things, seeing and composing the beauty is what separates the snapshots from the photograph." - Matt Hardy

FOCUS

I am sure that you've all heard by now, but let me tell you a little secret: It's finally May! With the weather getting increasingly warmer every day it's hard to remember that we still have four weeks of school left. I mean, really, the school year is o-v-e-r. Eighteen more school days and we'll be having late night bonfires and burning our unnecessary school materials. (Not that we would ever do that.)

I had a teacher tell me that once you start a countdown, your grades go down also. Out of all of his "words of wisdom" this one might be true. I am definitely losing focus as the year comes down to a close. The problem? We have advance placement exams for the next two weeks, and I need to study along with the rest of my high school.

I am really just ready for this year to be over. It has been tough, there have been tears, but I have done it. Almost. After AP exams, it'll be a breeze from there on out. My father was talking about summer today and meantioned that we have less than a month until our vacation. This is going to be the craziest month of my life! At the same time, as eager as I am to see this year gone and over with, I can not believe I'll be a senior next year. It's crazy how fast time flies. Especially when you're not sure you're ready to grow up.

So let's kick this last month in the butt. We're almost finished, let's finish strong.